The other day it was 80 degrees for the first time. Spring is turning into summer. When I walk outside, especially in midtown it smells like hotdogs and anything else you can bbq. There are ice cream trucks EVERYWHERE and I bought my first one of the season on Sunday. I can actually wear shorts, or wear pants and a tank. The heater officially has not come on in at least a month. And in 3 days it will be May!!!
It's so crazy how fast time flies. I came to NY a year ago in 2 months. This time last year, I was finishing up my finals getting ready to quit my job and anticipating my bit trip to NYC not knowing what would happen once I left CA. I think about the life I have created since then. I came here with a suitcase and now as I look around my room I have a bed, dresser, night stand, chair, curtains a normal closet. I have 2 amazing jobs where I have made many incredible friends and met a lot of talented people. At this point, I couldn't imagine not living in NY.
I am traveling back to Sacramento in a little less then a month to see my mom get married after 14 years! I will get to see my best friend, my nephew, sisters and brother. I will get to see extended family which I have not seen in years. Every second that I spend in my old home is filled with exciting moments with the people I love because I can never stay more then a few days. Not to mention enjoy the amazing CA weather compared to the humid NY weather.
Once I get back to NY for the summer though, this time around it will be spent enjoying every min of it, unlike last summer when I was just trying to figure out the city. I want to go to the beach and amusement parks and the river and go to DC or Boston and not worry about the little things until Sept hits again. Freedom.
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
Monday, March 14, 2011
Cherry Blossoms
Wow, it has been 2 and a half months since I last wrote. A lot has changed since the new year rolled in. Another season of fashion week came and went. Many new relationships made and a few lost. I moved apartments the beginning of March and was very successful with modeling jobs in February.
I just got back from California to see my best friend since 5th grade get married. What a trip that was, talk about my life flashing before my eyes. The next time I will be back there is the end of May to go to my mom's wedding. It seems like a lot of change has been happening lately and it seems bitter sweet. I hate change, but at the same time it is necessary. Sometimes it is good to start from scratch again.
I really want spring to come. I miss the sunny days when I can feel the warmth on my face. It's already mid March though and it will come in time. I still work at the Soho Grand Hotel which is nice. My mom came to visit this weekend and we had lunch there. it was nice to show her my world.
I think what would make me happiest more then anything would be to travel right now. I love New York, but I want to see other big cities around the world. Unfortunately you have to have money for that. But now that I live in a cheaper place I can start saving more money. My birthday is in less then 2 weeks, I will officially not be a teenager anymore!
And one more thing - my life would be incomplete without music.
Friday, December 24, 2010
See You Later 2010
Recently I have been pretty busy. After fashion week, it was pretty dead for me, actually the whole month of October was sooo slow. November I managed to book one modeling job. It was for a reality TV show pilot. Basically, what the show entails is that 2 designers are up against each other and they have 24 hours to make five outfits. Then at the end of the show, they have a fashion show to show off their designs. I was one of the models, so that was pretty cool. If it airs, it won’t be until summer of 2011, so we’ll see. But now I have experience with TV, check.
Then the month of December has been great so far. I was able to do 2 modeling jobs, which were both in the same week. The first was last Tuesday. It was my very first PAID photo shoot ha ha. It was a look book shoot for a cashmere company called SOH. All I can say about the clothes are…. AMAZING. We shot in a warehouse in Brooklyn on one of the coldest days in NY so far this winter (20 deg) and the warehouse itself was probably about 30 deg. If it weren’t for that cashmere I probably would have gotten hypothermia. With that being said, I mustered through and we got some amazing shots. I also have a package from them to look forward to opening when I get back from California. Hmmmm maybe a nice sweater? : )
The second job I did was on Friday. It was just a mini fashion/trunk show for the designer’s friends. The designer was Yuna Yang, and I actually was in her s/s 2011 presentation so it was cool to take a closer look into her designs, which are also amazing. Hopefully I will be able to be in her fall/winter show in Feb.
Of course I still have my job at the Soho Grand Hotel, hosting for their restaurant. I really enjoy working there, it is almost like a family for me, I am so close to a lot of the people I work with. But I am currently in the LaGuardia airport waiting to fly to Dallas, to then fly home to Sacramento for Christmas!! Unfortunately I will only be there for the weekend because I have to be back in NYC for New Years Eve, but I’m just glad I can be there for the holiday.
Speaking of which…. I can’t believe a whole other year has flown by!! The year 2010 was interesting for me. The first half, I was miserable and had a lot going on with my personal life. And the last half has been amazing, crazy, fun, adventurous and just all around eye opening. I have realized there is so much to life. I am surrounded by people of different race, ethnicity and backgrounds. I love the life I live and am so happy that I am right where I am supposed to be. I am also extremely excited to see what the year 2011 will bring me. Hopefully extensive traveling? Yes!!
Then the month of December has been great so far. I was able to do 2 modeling jobs, which were both in the same week. The first was last Tuesday. It was my very first PAID photo shoot ha ha. It was a look book shoot for a cashmere company called SOH. All I can say about the clothes are…. AMAZING. We shot in a warehouse in Brooklyn on one of the coldest days in NY so far this winter (20 deg) and the warehouse itself was probably about 30 deg. If it weren’t for that cashmere I probably would have gotten hypothermia. With that being said, I mustered through and we got some amazing shots. I also have a package from them to look forward to opening when I get back from California. Hmmmm maybe a nice sweater? : )
The second job I did was on Friday. It was just a mini fashion/trunk show for the designer’s friends. The designer was Yuna Yang, and I actually was in her s/s 2011 presentation so it was cool to take a closer look into her designs, which are also amazing. Hopefully I will be able to be in her fall/winter show in Feb.
Of course I still have my job at the Soho Grand Hotel, hosting for their restaurant. I really enjoy working there, it is almost like a family for me, I am so close to a lot of the people I work with. But I am currently in the LaGuardia airport waiting to fly to Dallas, to then fly home to Sacramento for Christmas!! Unfortunately I will only be there for the weekend because I have to be back in NYC for New Years Eve, but I’m just glad I can be there for the holiday.
Speaking of which…. I can’t believe a whole other year has flown by!! The year 2010 was interesting for me. The first half, I was miserable and had a lot going on with my personal life. And the last half has been amazing, crazy, fun, adventurous and just all around eye opening. I have realized there is so much to life. I am surrounded by people of different race, ethnicity and backgrounds. I love the life I live and am so happy that I am right where I am supposed to be. I am also extremely excited to see what the year 2011 will bring me. Hopefully extensive traveling? Yes!!
Wednesday, November 24, 2010
Stalkers?
Since I have started modeling (especially since I moved to NY) I have girls contacting me on FB inquiring about getting started with modeling, where to go, what to do... those types of questions. I have always thought it was flattering and try to answer questions as best to my ability, seeing as though it is different for every person and your situation depends on so many factors.
I was recently contacted by a young girl who claimed to know me and started talking to me about NY modeling like she just knew everything, but the convo started out with her asking me questions about agencies. She also was very excited to inform me about an old "top agency" that she had just signed with on the west coast. She asked me if I had thought about signing with certain agencies and I informed her that the agencies she listed as well as the one she was about to sign with are not great anymore (at least not in New York). Because of this, she got extremely defensive and started asking me why I thought these things.
THEN she had the audacity to ask me if I had even gotten any other contract offers, which clearly is an extremely rude thing to do. It's like a coworker asking you how much your raise was. So I told her how it is modeling in NY... cut throat, no one cares about you, you are just an object that your agencies make money off of. Which in my opinion, if you are strong enough to deal with it then fine, but a barely teenager shouldn't have to go through that. So once again, she just really wanted to make my day...
"While I agree with what you are saying, I really don't feel like you have enough knowledge, wisdom, or insight about the industry to really make that decision. You have only been modeling in New York for 4 months, and that now makes you a pro?"
No honey, I don't think I'm a pro, but it doesn't take very long living in NY to figure out how the modeling world works, especially after fashion week. I have been modeling since I was 16. When I was that young, I thought it was exciting and cool and glamorous too, but when I moved to NY, reality checked in and I saw it for what it really is. It's JOB and it's a lot of hard work and everybody in the industry (agencies, bookers, casting directors, photographers, designers, etc) all put you through hell before you can make your claim to fame.
If people like her don't want to believe me, that's totally fine, she'll see some day. In the mean time, from here on out, I most likely won't be answering FB messages from people I don't know to avoid such a situation again. Sorry, to any of the creepy stalkers who want to be models reading this right now.
Happy Thanksgiving :)
I was recently contacted by a young girl who claimed to know me and started talking to me about NY modeling like she just knew everything, but the convo started out with her asking me questions about agencies. She also was very excited to inform me about an old "top agency" that she had just signed with on the west coast. She asked me if I had thought about signing with certain agencies and I informed her that the agencies she listed as well as the one she was about to sign with are not great anymore (at least not in New York). Because of this, she got extremely defensive and started asking me why I thought these things.
THEN she had the audacity to ask me if I had even gotten any other contract offers, which clearly is an extremely rude thing to do. It's like a coworker asking you how much your raise was. So I told her how it is modeling in NY... cut throat, no one cares about you, you are just an object that your agencies make money off of. Which in my opinion, if you are strong enough to deal with it then fine, but a barely teenager shouldn't have to go through that. So once again, she just really wanted to make my day...
"While I agree with what you are saying, I really don't feel like you have enough knowledge, wisdom, or insight about the industry to really make that decision. You have only been modeling in New York for 4 months, and that now makes you a pro?"
No honey, I don't think I'm a pro, but it doesn't take very long living in NY to figure out how the modeling world works, especially after fashion week. I have been modeling since I was 16. When I was that young, I thought it was exciting and cool and glamorous too, but when I moved to NY, reality checked in and I saw it for what it really is. It's JOB and it's a lot of hard work and everybody in the industry (agencies, bookers, casting directors, photographers, designers, etc) all put you through hell before you can make your claim to fame.
If people like her don't want to believe me, that's totally fine, she'll see some day. In the mean time, from here on out, I most likely won't be answering FB messages from people I don't know to avoid such a situation again. Sorry, to any of the creepy stalkers who want to be models reading this right now.
Happy Thanksgiving :)
Monday, November 1, 2010
A Change of Season
It's November. 2010 is coming to an end. WOW.
I can't believe a whole other year has flown by. I have been in New York for 4 months now and am really starting to feel at home here. It is finally cold here. It has recently dropped down to the 40's....funny though, I don't remember EVER feeling this cold in Sacramento. I have no idea how I am going to cope with winter here, seeing as the weather will drop to the 20's or lower. It wouldn't be so bad if I didn't have to walk everywhere.
It is so interesting to me how when I first got to NY it was so hot and humid that I could barely stand doing anything during the day and had a hard time falling asleep at night, yet now, 4 months later I am freezing my hiney off. One thing I am excited for is the Christmas season here. All of the Christmas lights and decorations, it will be so beautiful!!
I get to go home in a week and a half so that will be a fun, must needed trip. I will be back to the city for Thanksgiving though, so hopefully I will see some of the parade.
As far as modeling goes, it has been pretty slow with castings here and there. But tomorrow I have my first to HUGE designer brand castings. One for Diane Von Furstenberg and the other for Louis Vuitton. I am pretty excited about those, it is not very likely that I will book them, but it is a start for getting in "the loop".
Long week ahead, but I'm sure it will be interesting as always.
XO
I can't believe a whole other year has flown by. I have been in New York for 4 months now and am really starting to feel at home here. It is finally cold here. It has recently dropped down to the 40's....funny though, I don't remember EVER feeling this cold in Sacramento. I have no idea how I am going to cope with winter here, seeing as the weather will drop to the 20's or lower. It wouldn't be so bad if I didn't have to walk everywhere.
It is so interesting to me how when I first got to NY it was so hot and humid that I could barely stand doing anything during the day and had a hard time falling asleep at night, yet now, 4 months later I am freezing my hiney off. One thing I am excited for is the Christmas season here. All of the Christmas lights and decorations, it will be so beautiful!!
I get to go home in a week and a half so that will be a fun, must needed trip. I will be back to the city for Thanksgiving though, so hopefully I will see some of the parade.
As far as modeling goes, it has been pretty slow with castings here and there. But tomorrow I have my first to HUGE designer brand castings. One for Diane Von Furstenberg and the other for Louis Vuitton. I am pretty excited about those, it is not very likely that I will book them, but it is a start for getting in "the loop".
Long week ahead, but I'm sure it will be interesting as always.
XO
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
Insomnia
I can't sleep so I guess I'm just going to write...
I try so hard every day to forget and remind myself that I can manage alone; I don't need anyone else to make me happy. But I am only lying to myself to cover the grief. How can you forget something that tragic. It's like someone saying that the terrorist attacks on 911 weren't a big deal and the country should just let it go. How can you forget something that big? You can't. The scar is to big, there will be construction for years before the new building is fully rebuilt. So how do you expect me to just forget? I suppose I could cover it up with a fake smile or date someone else that is doomed to failure as well.
I miss having someone to talk to every day, just because. I miss having someone to cuddle with and watch movies. But these things are so foreign to me now that I can hardly remember them. Because of my anguish, no more pictures, notes, or treasures remain; just the horrible memories of what I thought were real. How could he look me in the eyes and tell me he loved me, while stabbing me in the heart with a knife at the same time. What I want is a reality. If I had the time, and the opportunity, I would grasp it and never let go.
Do I have a vibe saying "If you are looking to screw someone over, date me."?? I have tried to analyze the way guys think and figure out their games. I figure two can play... but then I realize that I don't want to play your stupid game. Be real, or leave me the hell alone. Just stop being so good looking please.
The guys that have the good looks know they don't have to try hard because they're hot, and the guys that are just decent are the sweet and sensitive ones to make up for their looks. It's the sad truth, but why can't I meet someone who is both? I feel like because its the anniversary of my break up with my ex, that I am just in a confused state of mind. I wish I could say that I am throwing in the towel in the boys department, but it would honesty be impossible.
Time heals all wounds. And God makes it a point to take his sweet time for personal enjoyment (I believe).
Is it already Wednesday?
I try so hard every day to forget and remind myself that I can manage alone; I don't need anyone else to make me happy. But I am only lying to myself to cover the grief. How can you forget something that tragic. It's like someone saying that the terrorist attacks on 911 weren't a big deal and the country should just let it go. How can you forget something that big? You can't. The scar is to big, there will be construction for years before the new building is fully rebuilt. So how do you expect me to just forget? I suppose I could cover it up with a fake smile or date someone else that is doomed to failure as well.
I miss having someone to talk to every day, just because. I miss having someone to cuddle with and watch movies. But these things are so foreign to me now that I can hardly remember them. Because of my anguish, no more pictures, notes, or treasures remain; just the horrible memories of what I thought were real. How could he look me in the eyes and tell me he loved me, while stabbing me in the heart with a knife at the same time. What I want is a reality. If I had the time, and the opportunity, I would grasp it and never let go.
Do I have a vibe saying "If you are looking to screw someone over, date me."?? I have tried to analyze the way guys think and figure out their games. I figure two can play... but then I realize that I don't want to play your stupid game. Be real, or leave me the hell alone. Just stop being so good looking please.
The guys that have the good looks know they don't have to try hard because they're hot, and the guys that are just decent are the sweet and sensitive ones to make up for their looks. It's the sad truth, but why can't I meet someone who is both? I feel like because its the anniversary of my break up with my ex, that I am just in a confused state of mind. I wish I could say that I am throwing in the towel in the boys department, but it would honesty be impossible.
Time heals all wounds. And God makes it a point to take his sweet time for personal enjoyment (I believe).
Is it already Wednesday?
Friday, October 15, 2010
Everything is Beautiful
I have had a lot of time on my hands lately since the modeling world has been slow the last few weeks. This means I have been catching up on episodes of Arrested Development and yes, Keeping up the the Kardashians. I recently watched the movie "Letters to God" and it was such a heart warming, tear jerking movie (and I am usually not one to cry). It is a true story about a little boy who was battling brain cancer. First of all, an 8 year old should never have to go through that kind of pain. This boy had such a happy spirit and was always so positive. He didn't hate the fact that he had cancer, he embraced it and saw himself as a warrior. He wrote letters to God everyday thanking him for the things he had instead of being sad about what he didn't. He touched the lives of everyone he met and influenced others around him to take their sorrows to God. It was such an inspiring movie and I wish I had the pleasure of meeting him myself.
This story just shows that everyone has struggles but there is always someone out there who has it worse then you. If a little boy can take a positive out of brain cancer, then that gives me hope to get through my rough days. We aren't given these struggles because God hates us, we are given them because he loves us and wants us to grow, and even influence those around us. I am SO grateful that I haven't had to experience having cancer or having a personal family member or friend have it because I don't know if I'd be strong enough to deal with it. If I ever did have to experience it though, I am even more sure now that I need to live my life to the fullest with no regrets. Life is too short for that and you never know when its your time.
By the way, in the end, the boy did die, but he made such an impression on people that they made a movie about him. I hope that I can learn to be that positive and have people have nothing but good memories of me.
Life's good.
This story just shows that everyone has struggles but there is always someone out there who has it worse then you. If a little boy can take a positive out of brain cancer, then that gives me hope to get through my rough days. We aren't given these struggles because God hates us, we are given them because he loves us and wants us to grow, and even influence those around us. I am SO grateful that I haven't had to experience having cancer or having a personal family member or friend have it because I don't know if I'd be strong enough to deal with it. If I ever did have to experience it though, I am even more sure now that I need to live my life to the fullest with no regrets. Life is too short for that and you never know when its your time.
By the way, in the end, the boy did die, but he made such an impression on people that they made a movie about him. I hope that I can learn to be that positive and have people have nothing but good memories of me.
Life's good.
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