See You Later 2010

Recently I have been pretty busy. After fashion week, it was pretty dead for me, actually the whole month of October was sooo slow. November I managed to book one modeling job. It was for a reality TV show pilot. Basically, what the show entails is that 2 designers are up against each other and they have 24 hours to make five outfits. Then at the end of the show, they have a fashion show to show off their designs. I was one of the models, so that was pretty cool. If it airs, it won’t be until summer of 2011, so we’ll see. But now I have experience with TV, check.

Then the month of December has been great so far. I was able to do 2 modeling jobs, which were both in the same week. The first was last Tuesday. It was my very first PAID photo shoot ha ha. It was a look book shoot for a cashmere company called SOH. All I can say about the clothes are…. AMAZING. We shot in a warehouse in Brooklyn on one of the coldest days in NY so far this winter (20 deg) and the warehouse itself was probably about 30 deg. If it weren’t for that cashmere I probably would have gotten hypothermia. With that being said, I mustered through and we got some amazing shots. I also have a package from them to look forward to opening when I get back from California. Hmmmm maybe a nice sweater? : )

The second job I did was on Friday. It was just a mini fashion/trunk show for the designer’s friends. The designer was Yuna Yang, and I actually was in her s/s 2011 presentation so it was cool to take a closer look into her designs, which are also amazing. Hopefully I will be able to be in her fall/winter show in Feb.

Of course I still have my job at the Soho Grand Hotel, hosting for their restaurant. I really enjoy working there, it is almost like a family for me, I am so close to a lot of the people I work with. But I am currently in the LaGuardia airport waiting to fly to Dallas, to then fly home to Sacramento for Christmas!! Unfortunately I will only be there for the weekend because I have to be back in NYC for New Years Eve, but I’m just glad I can be there for the holiday.

Speaking of which…. I can’t believe a whole other year has flown by!! The year 2010 was interesting for me. The first half, I was miserable and had a lot going on with my personal life. And the last half has been amazing, crazy, fun, adventurous and just all around eye opening. I have realized there is so much to life. I am surrounded by people of different race, ethnicity and backgrounds. I love the life I live and am so happy that I am right where I am supposed to be. I am also extremely excited to see what the year 2011 will bring me. Hopefully extensive traveling? Yes!!

Stalkers?

Since I have started modeling (especially since I moved to NY) I have girls contacting me on FB inquiring about getting started with modeling, where to go, what to do... those types of questions. I have always thought it was flattering and try to answer questions as best to my ability, seeing as though it is different for every person and your situation depends on so many factors.

I was recently contacted by a young girl who claimed to know me and started talking to me about NY modeling like she just knew everything, but the convo started out with her asking me questions about agencies. She also was very excited to inform me about an old "top agency" that she had just signed with on the west coast. She asked me if I had thought about signing with certain agencies and I informed her that the agencies she listed as well as the one she was about to sign with are not great anymore (at least not in New York). Because of this, she got extremely defensive and started asking me why I thought these things.

THEN she had the audacity to ask me if I had even gotten any other contract offers, which clearly is an extremely rude thing to do. It's like a coworker asking you how much your raise was. So I told her how it is modeling in NY... cut throat, no one cares about you, you are just an object that your agencies make money off of. Which in my opinion, if you are strong enough to deal with it then fine, but a barely teenager shouldn't have to go through that. So once again, she just really wanted to make my day...

"While I agree with what you are saying, I really don't feel like you have enough knowledge, wisdom, or insight about the industry to really make that decision. You have only been modeling in New York for 4 months, and that now makes you a pro?"

No honey, I don't think I'm a pro, but it doesn't take very long living in NY to figure out how the modeling world works, especially after fashion week. I have been modeling since I was 16. When I was that young, I thought it was exciting and cool and glamorous too, but when I moved to NY, reality checked in and I saw it for what it really is. It's JOB and it's a lot of hard work and everybody in the industry (agencies, bookers, casting directors, photographers, designers, etc) all put you through hell before you can make your claim to fame.

If people like her don't want to believe me, that's totally fine, she'll see some day. In the mean time, from here on out, I most likely won't be answering FB messages from people I don't know to avoid such a situation again. Sorry, to any of the creepy stalkers who want to be models reading this right now.

Happy Thanksgiving :)

A Change of Season

It's November. 2010 is coming to an end. WOW.

I can't believe a whole other year has flown by. I have been in New York for 4 months now and am really starting to feel at home here. It is finally cold here. It has recently dropped down to the 40's....funny though, I don't remember EVER feeling this cold in Sacramento. I have no idea how I am going to cope with winter here, seeing as the weather will drop to the 20's or lower. It wouldn't be so bad if I didn't have to walk everywhere.

It is so interesting to me how when I first got to NY it was so hot and humid that I could barely stand doing anything during the day and had a hard time falling asleep at night, yet now, 4 months later I am freezing my hiney off. One thing I am excited for is the Christmas season here. All of the Christmas lights and decorations, it will be so beautiful!!

I get to go home in a week and a half so that will be a fun, must needed trip. I will be back to the city for Thanksgiving though, so hopefully I will see some of the parade.

As far as modeling goes, it has been pretty slow with castings here and there. But tomorrow I have my first to HUGE designer brand castings. One for Diane Von Furstenberg and the other for Louis Vuitton. I am pretty excited about those, it is not very likely that I will book them, but it is a start for getting in "the loop".

Long week ahead, but I'm sure it will be interesting as always.

XO

Insomnia

I can't sleep so I guess I'm just going to write...

I try so hard every day to forget and remind myself that I can manage alone; I don't need anyone else to make me happy. But I am only lying to myself to cover the grief. How can you forget something that tragic. It's like someone saying that the terrorist attacks on 911 weren't a big deal and the country should just let it go. How can you forget something that big? You can't. The scar is to big, there will be construction for years before the new building is fully rebuilt. So how do you expect me to just forget? I suppose I could cover it up with a fake smile or date someone else that is doomed to failure as well.

I miss having someone to talk to every day, just because. I miss having someone to cuddle with and watch movies. But these things are so foreign to me now that I can hardly remember them. Because of my anguish, no more pictures, notes, or treasures remain; just the horrible memories of what I thought were real. How could he look me in the eyes and tell me he loved me, while stabbing me in the heart with a knife at the same time. What I want is a reality. If I had the time, and the opportunity, I would grasp it and never let go.

Do I have a vibe saying "If you are looking to screw someone over, date me."?? I have tried to analyze the way guys think and figure out their games. I figure two can play... but then I realize that I don't want to play your stupid game. Be real, or leave me the hell alone. Just stop being so good looking please.

The guys that have the good looks know they don't have to try hard because they're hot, and the guys that are just decent are the sweet and sensitive ones to make up for their looks. It's the sad truth, but why can't I meet someone who is both? I feel like because its the anniversary of my break up with my ex, that I am just in a confused state of mind. I wish I could say that I am throwing in the towel in the boys department, but it would honesty be impossible.

Time heals all wounds. And God makes it a point to take his sweet time for personal enjoyment (I believe).
Is it already Wednesday?

Everything is Beautiful

I have had a lot of time on my hands lately since the modeling world has been slow the last few weeks. This means I have been catching up on episodes of Arrested Development and yes, Keeping up the the Kardashians. I recently watched the movie "Letters to God" and it was such a heart warming, tear jerking movie (and I am usually not one to cry). It is a true story about a little boy who was battling brain cancer. First of all, an 8 year old should never have to go through that kind of pain. This boy had such a happy spirit and was always so positive. He didn't hate the fact that he had cancer, he embraced it and saw himself as a warrior. He wrote letters to God everyday thanking him for the things he had instead of being sad about what he didn't. He touched the lives of everyone he met and influenced others around him to take their sorrows to God. It was such an inspiring movie and I wish I had the pleasure of meeting him myself.

This story just shows that everyone has struggles but there is always someone out there who has it worse then you. If a little boy can take a positive out of brain cancer, then that gives me hope to get through my rough days. We aren't given these struggles because God hates us, we are given them because he loves us and wants us to grow, and even influence those around us. I am SO grateful that I haven't had to experience having cancer or having a personal family member or friend have it because I don't know if I'd be strong enough to deal with it. If I ever did have to experience it though, I am even more sure now that I need to live my life to the fullest with no regrets. Life is too short for that and you never know when its your time.

By the way, in the end, the boy did die, but he made such an impression on people that they made a movie about him. I hope that I can learn to be that positive and have people have nothing but good memories of me.

Life's good.

"In order to be irreplaceable, one must be different." -Coco Chanel

LaQuan Smith

LaQuan Smith

StyleTrek

Dress Reform

Dress Reform

Daniella Kallmeyer

Designers Collective

Yuna Yang

Well It's been a little while since I've written. September 9-16 was fashion week. I can proudly say I booked 7 but was in 6 shows/presentations which is pretty good for my first season. It was an amazing, stressful, and new experience. I have told my family and friends over and over again, I DO NOT advise anyone to get into modeling if they don't truly love and enjoy it. These past few weeks I have been going nonstop (with the exception of last week where I have finally gotten a break) with castings, shows and my other part time job. You have tons of people telling you how to dress, speak and be. I am not going to lie, I had a few breakdowns where I had to pull myself together and just get through whatever situation I was in. When you live in a world where most people are expecting you to fail and you are constantly competing and trying to prove yourself, it makes you wonder if it's worth it.

Well, I have thought a lot about this lately and for right now, it is worth it. I am only 19 years old and I get to live in New York City. I am going places and meeting people that other people only dream about achieving. And in the next year hopefully I will be going to Europe doing the same thing. I don't want to be one of those people that sits at home wishing I could be somewhere else. Even if I am worried about being able to pay next's month rent and food bills, it is still the experience of a life time. I am very blessed to be where I am at and I am SOO glad that when I came here I had my head on straight or I would already have my priorities mixed up. All the roomers you hear about the "modeling world" are very true.

So to get to my point about all this rambling is that going through blood sweat and tears to make it in this industry IS in fact worth it to me because I am going to prove to all of those people waiting for me to fail or screw my life up that not only am I going to make it in this industry, but I am going to do it with my pride and dignity intact remaining a "good girl" because folks, its possible, and like I said, I HAVE proved this to be true and will continue to prove this.

Anyway, here are some pics from shows, hope you enjoy them :)

This was my most recent shoot that I did Thursday....I'm not a bad girl, but I'm a pretty good actress

Finally moved IN!!!

The living room

Long hallway

Tiny bathroom

Tiny closet

Tiny room! hah I'm getting the bottom

So I have finally moved in to my Upper West Side apartment. It is located in a beautiful area with cute shops and stores along the street. It's a 2 bedroom one, bathroom with a little kitchen and living room. It is furnished and I will be sharing a room and tiny closet with another girl. I will also be paying an outrageous amount to live here, but that's New York for ya!

After searching and searching for apartments, looking at pictures, areas and finding them on google maps, this one is really the best out of all. It is in between Central Park and the river facing Jersey. It's also in a good area, and it is so cute inside!

So I moved the majority of my stuff in on Thursday so last night when came over with the rest of my stuff (small suitcase, travel bag w/computer and other random things/ bag of shoes, and 2 purses), it was 9pm....yes PM and PORING rain. My friend Melanie who I had been staying with luckily came to help me. We took the cross town bus over cause she is Upper East Side. But, we still had about 10 block to walk. On the walk over, not only were we completely soaking wet, but lost on paper bag that had items in it. Let me tell you, it was so much fun!! Especially when the "puddles" get so big that the develop a current. It got to the point where I wasn't even annoyed anymore, I thought it was hilarious!

Then today I locked myself out and couldn't figure how to get back in. So I got myself a mani pedi and when I got back, the other roommates were back and they showed me how to open it. There are always little problems that always seem to happen to me every time I experience change in my life. Oh well, I have bigger things to stress about! Happy Monday.

"Evil Stepmothers"

I have been watching a handful of Disney movies lately. Have you ever noticed that there is always an evil Stepmother or Queen? This intrigued me as well as causing me to google image "evil stepmothers". I noticed that all off these women literally look like the devil's wives.

Another thing they have in common is they are all incredibly jealous creatures. For instance, Cinderella's evil stepmother made her stay home and clean all day because she knew that she was beautiful and she didn't want the prince finding her. The evil queen wanted to kill snow white because she was jealous of her beauty; and because of her selfishness, she wanted to be the fairest in all the land. In Enchanted, the evil stepmother wanted all the power, so she did everything possible to get rid of Giselle so she wouldn't marry the prince. So really, these evil women don't like people who threaten their existence.

MEANING: if you are more pretty (which you most likely are), smarter and nicer then them, that stepmother is going to feel threatened and is going to do anything in her power to get rid of you....funny I feel like I have seen this actually happen in real life.

Really, it is just immaturity on these evil women's part. If they would grow up and get over the fact that they really aren't pretty and no matter what they do, they cannot get rid of the princess, it would make everyones life easy. PLUS, really who do they think they are?? They are the STEPmother, not real mother. They are the person that their father married so he can get some action but stay moral. It's funny that Disney puts stuff like this in their movies to entertain older people while they watch movies with their kids, or other young people.


So EVIL STEPMOTHERS: Jealously will destroy you. Please get over yourselves and do what you ladies do best; looking like somebody hit you in the face with a frying pan and shoved a stick up your crotch. :)

As for those princesses, keep going strong, you get the happily ever after!!

Sick Days

I HATE being sick. I would rather be hot and sweating 24/7 then be sick. You feel so miserable!

Well, to explain why I am mostly sick, this is whats going on right now....
I finally got a part time job after applying for for literally 20 here in the city. It is really hard to get a job anywhere unless you had a reference from somewhere else. I now work at the Soho Grand Hotel at their outside restaurant called "The Yard". It is really pretty and because its during the summer, it is really nice at night. So the Yard doesn't open up until 4pm and we don't close until 1am usually. I only work the weekends, but as the days went on, I stayed later and later. Thursday I got out by 1am. Friday I was out by 1:30am, and Saturday.....I didn't leave until 2:30 so I didn't even get home until 3am!! This is because the people litterally would not leave.

I also have been quite stressed about finding an apartment. It is by far the worst thing I have had to accomplish while here in the city. People are extremely shady and there are sooo many scams. It is also really hard to find an apartment less then $1000....This is not including other bills like food, metro card (unlimited subway pass), and other random things like a taxi. Fortunately my new part time job has AMAZING pay, and I finally found an apartment that might work out. I am going to look at it tomorrow so crossing my fingers it will work and I can be done with the search for now.

So aside from having watery eyes, being extremely congested and suffering from major fatigue, life here is great!! There are always sacrifices for what you want in life and it is a matter of deciding what is important. Time to buy some tissues!

Rocky Runway

As most people know, it is super expensive to live in the city. I found a shared apartment about 2 weeks ago in a great location for an awesome price. I was supposed to move in, in 4 days.....I got a text from a girl that would have been my roommate today saying that a good friend of hers is moving to the city and they were letting her take the spot!!!! This has now caused me to go on a search frenzy trying to find a new apartment. Luckily I have some great friends that are helping me find one, but it is still stressful.

Not only do I have to find a new apartment now, but I have also been looking for a part time job for the past few weeks. It takes a few months to really get the ball rolling to make decent money here and I only have enough money to support myself for the next 2 or 3 months. It's kinda a scray spot to be in, but I know that everything is going to work out the way it needs to and I obviously wasn't meant to live in that apartment.

On a positive note, this week I have already auditioned with 3 Milan agencies to be represented by in Italy. And tomorrow I meet with a Japanese agency. How awesome would that be if I ended 2010 going to a foreign country to model?!

Life will always throw your curve balls, but it is what you make of them that will determine your additude. I am an optimistice person and this little situation cannot and will not bring me down!!

It's Official

Well I accomplished what I came here to accomplish. I signed with APM Model Management last Monday and they have been keeping me very busy with castings. I was supposed to go home in 2 days, but I am now staying here until the holidays, and even then will only be home for visits. My contract is for 2 years so I will be here in the city for a while! Fashion week is coming up so lets pray that I book a few shows!

It's so crazy and surreal when you have wanted something for so long and then you finally start getting closer to it.....now I know how Justin Beiber feels hah. The city life is awesome and I move into my apartment in about a week and a half.

They say time flies by when you're having fun, but I feel like it's slowing down so I can enjoy the ride. Everyone has goals and aspirations, don't be afraid to just go for it! Often times when you throw yourself in to the unknown, that is when you feel and receive the most joy.

New York!

Well I have currently been in New York for about 2 weeks and I am just loving it! The first 4 days my mom and older sister were with me and we did all of the sight seeing together...very tiring but fun! After they left I have been doing some major hunting for a new agent.

Today, one of my dreams came true. I was offered a 2 year contract from APM Model Management, which is of course an agency in New York. They have already arranged for my first casting. It's absolutely crazy how fast things are moving! I was originally supposed to fly home on July 21st, but my plans home will "unfortunately" be delayed until September because of NY Fashion Week. It is all so surreal and I feel soooo blessed to be where I am at in my life.

Life lesson: ALWAYS go for your dreams and NEVER let anyone or anything bring you down. Do what makes you happy and in the end you can say you didn't have a single regret.

Sing Your Heart Out

Tonight was my very last final for my freshman year in college. I was in a voice class and we had a final performance. I sang a Latin song called Panis Angelicus. I was lucky enough to share this with my family and it was a great time.

I was also able to spend the day with my dad, which I have not done this in about a year. We got donuts in the morning, drove to Stockton to visit an old friend, came back to Sac and saw When In Rome and ended the day with my performance. I love my family!!!

School's Out!

Finally my freshman year of college has come to an end. With the months of March, April and May, I haven't had much time to update this. Still working at Cal Sun and getting more hours....yes! I'm trying to save up as much money as I can before I go to New York. I was recently in a Fashion Show for The Delta College fashion program. My Designer was Shontell Upton and her designs are amazing!!! I just love what I do and the people I meet.

I am more grateful for my family then ever lately. I believe we all have struggles every now and then and I have been able to get over some major milestones with their love and support. I have also recently discovered that no matter what, people will always disappoint you and the best you can do is hold your head high and learn to forgive and forget. It is always sad to lose a friend, but I would rather lose a friend then lose myself again.

1 month until New York!

And I love my nephew Riley who is now 2 years and 3 months old

Study What You Love

Life has been crazy lately. I am not new to blogs but I am terrible and keeping them updated! With college and school part time it makes it a little hard for extra things. As far as the modeling, I recently won something called Fashion Feud. It was a local competition put on by Scion (they are doing these all over the US). How it worked was there were 3 rounds of fashion feud, each about a month apart. In each round there are 2 designers and they each have a model. The designer is given fabric on the spot and has to create an outfit for their model within the hour. While that is happening, the model is getting her hair and make up done....keep in mind this is all on stage for the audience to watch. At the end of the hour everyone must be done and the audience decides who wins. My designer and I won the first round so we were in the finale with the other 2 winning designers. Same thing happened again except all designers had the same fabric! Well long story short, Mika (my designer) and I won the finale! It was an amazing opportunity where I made new connections with people as well as being featured in Sacramento Magazine.

A most recent show I did was for the hair product Sexy Hair....well they chopped all of my hair of and gave me a new look. At least it was free? I like it though and its a good change for me.
Some other exciting news is I just bought my tickets for New York this summer! I will be going out there for a month to audition for agencies. Hopefully when I return home, it will be to pack my belongings and head back to NY. In the mean time, I am finishing up my second semester at FLC and still working at Cal Sun. Busy busy!!